I hate the term "buy in", so I am not going to use it. I am not in sales and no coach should be. What coaches give to athletes is not an on the shelf item and every person we coach requires different approaches. Every coach should be looking to develop several trusting relationships for their athletes. The first level is trust between the coach and the athlete. The next level is trust between athlete and other athletes. The last, most important and most difficult to develop level is an athlete's trust in themselves. This triumvirate of trust is crucial to success at any level and if one level falters, poor performance can follow.
Let's start with the coach. A coach can develop trust in a myriad of ways and no way is the perfect solution.
Be Genuine. Let me shout that louder for those in the back - BE GENUINE. A coach cannot and should not try to emulate others in their treatment of athletes. You can steal techniques and other apparati to build relationships, yet none of those ideas will work if you are not genuine. In my younger years, I tried to be my father, Bill Loughran or Tom Heath. I sprinkled in some Chris Bennett and Joe Newton. None of it worked as well as my own, personal style. When I started to be genuine with my athletes, things fell into place.
Be Positive. You can be tough and challenge your athletes and still BE POSITIVE. Positive means motivational, kind and caring. Work to uplift your athletes and be part of their lives. Care about them not their times. Check out this chat from Coach Bennett. Kindness matters. For the record - kindness has always mattered.
Create a safe space. Create a space for them to communicate with you in a healthy way. Let them know you are their for them. Attend events uninvolved with your coaching. Years ago, I had a great freshmen runner in XC, Eric Williams. He wanted to try out swimming and possibly baseball. Sure I was disappointed, but I wanted him to succeed in whatever he did. I attended a couple swim meets and watched him compete in a different venue. In the end, he decided to compete in XC and track. He helped my team finish 2nd in NJ and later threw 195'9" in the Javelin to finish 2nd in NJ. I showed Eric that I cared about him as a person. You can also create an open door policy. Use your classroom, office, or a park bench to allow your athletes a place to talk.
Build parental Trust. Involve parents in the right ways. Parents can be tough, but most are very supportive. Be clear with your expectations of all parties. Involve them in the right ways and keep channels of communication open. Coaches need parents and their support helps build trust in athletes.
Next, work to develop a deeper level of trust between athletes. In general, kids will perform better when they are part of a team and have teammates pushing them.
Be a team at all times. It can be easy to focus on one athlete when that person is rolling. However, it's important to involve the team in those moments. If you have an athlete qualify for Milrose or another big event, involve the team. Talk about the event as a way for everyone to improve. Fill a bus and bring them all to the event. Whatever you do, make sure every kid on your team is part of everything.
Create a hang out. Find a space or spaces that allow your athletes to hang out. Play music, order pizza and do some fun events. When the weather is nice, the hang out can be the track or whatever place you use to finish up runs. This extra, low stress bonding will help grow powerful trust between athletes.
Mix up lineups. Do not be afraid to take chances with your lineup. Coaches need to put athletes in a position to succeed with their teammates. In failure and success, teams grow together. When athletes succeed as a teammate, they learn to trust each other. When they fail, they learn to pick each other up.
Take a trip as a team. Between XC camp and one or two travel trips in a year, athletes can spend almost two weeks together, away from home. The bonding that happens at camp and these trips in incredible. Your athletes will build trust in each other, when they become close teammates.
Give every athlete responsibility. Athletes can lead warmups, core, and even parts of runs to have responsibility. These simple tasks help elevate some kids and give them importance within the team.
The last piece is the toughest trust to develop. An athlete must trust and believe in themselves. How you create an athlete's trust in themselves is crucial to their success.
Set up success in workouts and races. When preparing workouts and races, make sure your athletes can succeed. For the record, athletes can and will not succeed all the time. At times, races are tough for kids. With that said, if you can find races in the early season that help them succeed, use them to build confidence. If you cannot find those types of races, create them or build success in workouts.
Work shorter to longer. When planning races, add some short races into the early season. An 800 is an easy to learn how to hurt and take chances. The shorter races are quick and allow very little time to think. Use these races for confidence building.
Have your athletes log. A log holds them accountable and can show them the amount of work they have put in over the weeks, months and years. The information helps you coach and helps them build confidence.
Have meetings with athletes. This type of meeting can help a coach build trust with an athlete but can also help athletes understand themselves. I spend a few weeks in the fall and a few more in the spring to meet with each athlete on Google Meet or Zoom. The meetings are 15 minutes long and I give each athlete a list of things to bring, i.e. your 3 best moments from the season. I have found these conversations to be amazing for my athletes.
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